I get asked this question quiet a lot, about once a week actually, and I love answering it because I am sure I know the answer.
The last week has been a tough one for me, tougher than normal anyway, because I have needed to ramp up my training for England’s strongest woman. I have a purpose and a goal that I have set my self. The deadline is fast approaching so I have chosen the path I need to follow. It is a less trodden path than the ones used by most others because it is the hardest, requires the most from me both physically and mentally, it is hard for my loved ones to watch, and is sure as shit hard on every one else because I have zero tolerance for anything and haven’t been all that nice.
The past week, I have pushed myself to do two high intensity training sessions a day. One is strength based – focusing on the events I will be doing on the day of competition – and the other a cardio and core strength circuit.
Anyone that has ever seen me train, knows that I push myself pretty hard most of the time and have quiet an intensity, but there has been a massive shift and I am 100% focused on the task in hand so every session I am pushing my limits and beyond. There have been times where I have wanted to stop, drop the weight and revert to what I normally do, but that is NOT going to get me on the podium! I have pushed hard, past anything I thought I was capable of. I have laid on the floor in pieces several times this week, and got back up and done another set. It was Friday morning when my body was totally f%&cked and couldn’t perform, much later in the week than I expected, so I was pretty pleased with my week, I was expecting it to be Wednesday.
Don’t get me wrong, I had days when I was sore and didn’t want to. I had back to back appointments in between my 2 sessions a day, so eating enough food was really tough and I had to rely on shakes and snacks to get me through – hence why I was a grumpy bitch the whole week.
But do you know what? It didn’t stop my tribe from supporting me, if anything they were cheering even louder, getting excited with me when I hit a new record, brought me food, made sure I had enough sleep, gave me attitude and banter back when I was getting gobby, trained with me, made me laugh, never questioned why I am doing it or asking if I am ok, just being with me.
I went to a yoga class on Thursday night that my friend teaches. Knowing I had been training hard, that morning I had hit 120kg on my squat – the most I have ever lifted – she knew I was worn out but also fully supports and understands why I am doing it. The class was gentle, I was invited to do all the stretches and movements I could manage and when we went into bug, I was stuck because my hips were so stiff, but rather than laugh at me, we laughed together and found a way I could manage and I felt great afterwards. Was it from the beautiful class, the stretches, the relaxation which was so good I woke my self up grunting, was it the love and support I was shown when I was feeling vulnerable or a mixture of all of these things? I will let you be the judge of that.
Yesterday, I was privileged and humbled to spend a day with 23 other women delivering presentations with two of the best humans I know, on how to set goals, have a plan and create a vision board to display and keep moving towards the end goal. It was a wonderfully relaxed day and I felt as though I was in a room full of friends that I was helping to get a little more focus in their lives. It was a pleasure to watch them work, answer their questions and, I can honestly say, was inspired and humbled watching their bravery to leap into the unknown. It really helped me to take pause and reflect on what drives and motivates me.
Last year was massive for me, I made the conscious decision to change all the elements of my life that were making me unhappy, which at the time was all of it. I put myself through challenges, and rose on every occasion. I had goals, and I smashed every one of them. There were a few curve balls thrown in to keep me guessing, but I smashed them out of the park too. I didn’t really pay much attention to it until yesterday when I was presenting how to do a bridge model and get from where you are now to where you want to be and it dawned on me, that I am in my ideal situation right now. I set my goals, followed the plan and now I am exactly where I wanted to be this time a year ago. So I am taking a step back from driving in all directions in my life and just focusing on one – training to win.
So to answer the question of what motivates me;
Knowing that people are watching me, loving me, supporting me and wanting me to have everything I want – these are things that motivate me.
When it is 5am and I am getting out of bed to start my day, knowing I will change other peoples lives that day – this motivates me.
Being excited about the future because it is the one I have chosen, because the now is exactly where I want to be – this motivates me.
Being confident and happy in this moment, the present and remembering what I have changed – Someone said to me that they were really proud of me and I have moved mountains in the time they have known me, I replied “I haven’t moved mountains, I have just moved the rubbish out of the way so I can see the view“. It is a beautiful view that I am really proud of – this motivates me
15 year old me would never have dreamed I would have got here, I do a lot of this for her – she motivates me the most!