New Year, New me???? BULL SHIT!

So, it has come to the end of yet another year. 2018 is almost at an end, and what have we learnt form it?

Personally, I have had a massive year in regards to growth, both personally and professionally, but more importantly spiritually.

This year has taught me many a lesson, and now on the 28th day of the 12th month it seems like the perfect time to reflect up on these lessons. It could be the wine talking, but for that to stand up in court, you would need to prove that I have had any such nonsense.

Lesson 1

You know yourself better than you think

It is ok to trust your instinct. That feeling of unease, mistrust or something just isn’t sitting perfectly. Listen to this – for the majority of the time it is right and these feelings come from deep within and you MUST listen. They are an early warning to something much more dangerous lurking just around the corner. Paying attention may actually save your life and those nearest to you, you can stop them from being tangled in the web that is just beneath your every step if you listen and pay attention.

Lesson 2

Be ok with being uncomfortable

Just the other side of being truly terrified is the most beautiful, painstaking, wonderful adventure waiting for you to grab it with both hands. If you can handle the shit, by handle I mean not be admitted to the local nuthouse or become and alcoholic, the view is truly spectacular. Now without going into too much detail, because frankly it is boring, I can sit on my bean bag of orangeness with my head held high and say that I have dealt with about 3 lifetimes worth of grief in the past 18 months.

How did I do this?

By literally putting one foot in front of the other, saying yes to all the things and being in the moment when it really mattered. For Example; Taking part in a beautiful relaxation class, which involved laying comfortably on the floor with all the blankets and my teddy. Having a wonderful human guide you through a thought process to get you to a safe place and then completely falling to pieces, snot bubbles, the works and another beautiful soul sitting with you holding a box of tissues telling you to stop being a dick. The perfect balance of love and arsekickery

Lesson 3

You are good enough and you do deserve to be ok, in fact you inspire people everyday so you better keep it up!t

I don’t really think I need to embellish this lesson much more but just in case you didn’t see it first time around; YOU, yes you there, right there looking at the screen. You ARE good enough! Some one, or maybe more than one, thinks the absolute world of you. They may not be close all of the time but they are there, being a cheer leader for all that you believe in and want nothing but the best for you. They wait with baited breath to hear of the next adventure you are going to embark on, or opinion you have on a subject they want to learn about and your words encourage them to take the steps to learn. DO NOT be affraid to speak and follow what you believe in, what starts as a ripple soon turns to an army and you can start to see the difference you are making to lives, actual lives. So get up, be yourself, and remember that you are never alone. You inspire me!

Lesson 4

You make the rules!

Too many years are spent being with the wrong person, in the wrong the job, not doing the thing that makes you happy.


You don’t get points for pleasing everyone else and wishing that you had just taken that leap. Or for living the life that someone else told you you should. Pardon my French but Fuck that! It is your life, you have but one chance to have all that you want and to try all the things. Just because someone that you hold in high regard has the opposite opinion to you, that doesn’t mean they are right. Write history well and make sure there are no gaps that could have been filled with – I am so glad I did rather than I wish I had.

You have been given a precious gift of walking this Earth for another day, why are you allowing other people to dictate to you? If you are alone and can look in the mirror and be proud, that is all that matters. Only you have walked in your shoes, they don’t fit anyone else comfortably, just like someone else’s wouldn’t fit you or look any where near as good on you. You only need to play with in the boundaries you have set yourself and as long as you are happy, it really doesn’t matter hat anyone else thinks.

Lesson 5

You aren’t getting out of this alive or in pristine condition so you may as well have all the fun and laughter you can fit in and expect nothing in return.

I don’t want to preach but the more you laugh and the more fun you have, the easier the hard stuff is to deal with, so try and get those that make you laugh as close as possible. Feeling love, being in love, giving love and expecting nothing in return is by far the most wonderful part of being a human.

Holding someone’s hand, sitting beside them and letting them be in the moment with you and then rolling about on the floor laughing because they snorted while trying to tell you something – that is what it is about. We all have darkness within us, I have a time share there in fact, but it is only worth a visit. The light that we can pass to others is far more precious and lifechanging if we just take a moment to smile and learn the lesson we are being taught. And if nothing else, it passes pretty dam quickly so be ready for the next bit because if you aren’t you are missing out.

I am sure that this made sense at some point and wasn’t meant to be such a rant but there we go.

My point is – life is precious and short so live hard, love hard and give it your all because we don’t get second chances very often.

3 thoughts on “New Year, New me???? BULL SHIT!”

  1. So much this!
    Such an awesome piece of writing Amy! Really summarises what life should be about. And it can spin in the blink of an eye so you’ve got to make the most of it.
    Sorry you’ve had a tricky time…hope the future is brighter.
    The Sun evening sessions are fab…the snoring’s proof of that 😀. Goals.

    Liked by 1 person

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