Is this a complicated question or do we just over think everything and use this perceived ultimate destination as a distraction to what is happening in front of us?
I still don’t know what my own definition of happiness is because there are so many sub headings that can be used to get us there; joy, cheerfulness, contentment for examples. It doesn’t take a lot for us to feel these little things if we pay attention.
The joy of that first sip of hot coffee in the morning out of your favourite mug, watching a loved one doze while they rest their head in your lap, taking the dog for a walk and watching the sun rise.
If you just take a moment to pause…..appreciate what you are doing and how that makes you feel, the little tings really do start to build up.
For me, the beach, the woods, opening the studio for the early classes, seeing my clients and making them smile, eating my lunch in the park, hugs, jokes, Bert the squeaky pig are just some of the things I get to do every day that make me happy.
Training hard, studying, reading, listening to music, dancing with myself or others are the things I choose to do everyday to make me happy.
Each day I make a point to live in the moment and be present with what I am doing, if i am not enjoying myself or feeling good then changing that situation becomes a priority. Obviously I know that this isn’t always possible, but being ok with uncomfortable is another way to get through to the other side.
Happiness is a beautiful thing if and when you can get there. It isn’t like maths or science where there is a strict formula to follow to get the answer that you want, it is completely subjective and different for everyone and totally unpredictable. But it is easy to be there, if you just stop trying to find it, you already have so much joy around you.
Having said that, something I do regularly for myself and my clients, is to build a bridge model
A really simple tool to help you stop and focus and be held accountable for your journey.
On one side write all the things that you are unhappy about and want to change right now. Can be anything, some examples;
- Not the body shape I want to be
- Not enough money saved
- Not enjoying work any more
- No time to see friends
On the other, write the things that you want. It can be big things, small and everything in between;
- To be able to go on holiday by the end of the year
- Arrange dates in my diary with my friends
- Get through the day without eating sugar
Once you have your two lists, the solution part is next. How are you going to get from one place to another? These are now your goals and should become your focus. You have now built your bridge from now to where you want to be, it is up to you to action these solutions. Only you can do this, because it is your bridge. You don’t have to aggressively chase them, just softly know that they are there and check in every now and then.
I have been doing this myself for nearly 15 years so I can hold my hands up and say it is pretty easy now, but it wasn’t when I first started, the list seemed endless and impossible but the first part is to choose a simple thing and get it done. Maybe breaking your solutions into daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, annual targets will help. Having different models for the different parts of your life; work, family, training….
One tiny thing every day will lead to lots of little wins over the week and so on. It will be time consuming the first time you do it because there is a lot going on and compartmentalising it will be tough, but this is not a one time thing. Rewriting your bridge model could become a monthly goal and will help keep your focus. Some of the most common solutions my clients come up with;
- Time management
- Self care
- Better food
- More rest
I never said it was going to be an easy path, but if you want to be in a better place then you need to at least start moving. It doesn’t matter if you change paths 20 times, making changes and moving away from what you don’t want is the goal.
I believe in you and will gladly help you get started.
You know where to find me